Here is another fun conference packet to keep your little ones busy and involved with General Conference!
2009 April Conference Packet
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Creative Puns for the Educated Mind
My mommy brain needs a little boost sometimes.
I am so caught up in thinking about matchbox cars (and cleaning them up), hair bows (and fixing little girls' hair), food (and buying it, preparing it, presenting it, AND cleaning it up), that I rarely remember that I actually have a degree, and a lot of knowledge that has nothing to do with, well, anything that I do day in and day out. Now and then I come across another mommy who is going back to school, or an old friend (does this make ME old too?) that I went to school with, and I think about compicated thinking. Because, that's what school is, right? Complicated thinking? Finding a way to make your brain understand new material and tucking it into an unused SPOT in your brain so that you can recall it in the future.
My little brother, who is brilliant, by the way, is going back to school. Again. He has a BS in statistics with an emphasis in actuarial science. He has an MBA. Now, he wants a PhD. And when he finishes this four-year program, he wants to TEACH college students. So much complicated thinking. Makes my brain hurt just trying to comprehend this idea.
But, I LIKED learning. Well, I still do, of course. I just learn, um, UNcomplicated things right now. Like baking bread (gluten-free, fresh from the oven!!) Or the art of keeping a two-year-old-who-won't-take-naps happy enough and calm enough to let his older sibs get their homework done when they get home from school without being harassed to tears. Okay, now look at that last sentence. That's like my current life. I guess it IS sort of complicated, but it's really just more CRAZY than complex. And it's crazy, in part, because I just can't focus well enough to do it right. And now check out this paragraph. I can't stay focused!!! Back to the "I liked learning" thing. I DO like learning. It just hurts my brain at this moment.
So, I found some riddles/puns from SixWise.com (I recommend the newsletter via email. Very interesting articles now and then) which made me laugh. I couldn't even figure most of them out. I have a rusty pun-brain, I think. two-year-olds don't really appreciate complicated humor, so for laughs at our house, I pretend to eat children while I tickle them. Works for children ages 7 months to 7 years! But puns make me laugh -- even when I'm by myself! So try this out and see if your brain is as tired as mine, or if you can guess the punchline before reading the answers, listed at the end.
Good luck.
22 Creative Puns for “Educated Minds” …Can YOU Figure Them Out?by www.SixWise.com
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was …
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it …
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her …
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of …
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little …
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be …
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for …
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in …
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a …
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a …
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are …
12. Atheism is a [Fill in the Blank] organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I’ll …
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it [Fill in the Blank] me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the …
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No [Fill in the Blank] yet."
17. A chicken crossing the road is [Fill in the Blank] in motion.
18. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was …
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a [Fill in the Blank] veteran.
20. A backward poet writes …
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's ….
22. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe …
Now Scroll Down to See the Answers …
ANSWERS:
1. Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. still.
4. math disruption.
5. behind in his work.
6. stationary.
7. littering.
8. Linoleum Blownapart.
9. tie.
10. banana.
11. looking into it.
12. non-prophet
13. go on a head.
14. hit
15. Grass”
16. change
17. poultry
18. a small medium at large.
19. seasoned
20. inverse
21. your count that votes.
22. sects.
DID YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD???
I am so caught up in thinking about matchbox cars (and cleaning them up), hair bows (and fixing little girls' hair), food (and buying it, preparing it, presenting it, AND cleaning it up), that I rarely remember that I actually have a degree, and a lot of knowledge that has nothing to do with, well, anything that I do day in and day out. Now and then I come across another mommy who is going back to school, or an old friend (does this make ME old too?) that I went to school with, and I think about compicated thinking. Because, that's what school is, right? Complicated thinking? Finding a way to make your brain understand new material and tucking it into an unused SPOT in your brain so that you can recall it in the future.
My little brother, who is brilliant, by the way, is going back to school. Again. He has a BS in statistics with an emphasis in actuarial science. He has an MBA. Now, he wants a PhD. And when he finishes this four-year program, he wants to TEACH college students. So much complicated thinking. Makes my brain hurt just trying to comprehend this idea.
But, I LIKED learning. Well, I still do, of course. I just learn, um, UNcomplicated things right now. Like baking bread (gluten-free, fresh from the oven!!) Or the art of keeping a two-year-old-who-won't-take-naps happy enough and calm enough to let his older sibs get their homework done when they get home from school without being harassed to tears. Okay, now look at that last sentence. That's like my current life. I guess it IS sort of complicated, but it's really just more CRAZY than complex. And it's crazy, in part, because I just can't focus well enough to do it right. And now check out this paragraph. I can't stay focused!!! Back to the "I liked learning" thing. I DO like learning. It just hurts my brain at this moment.
So, I found some riddles/puns from SixWise.com (I recommend the newsletter via email. Very interesting articles now and then) which made me laugh. I couldn't even figure most of them out. I have a rusty pun-brain, I think. two-year-olds don't really appreciate complicated humor, so for laughs at our house, I pretend to eat children while I tickle them. Works for children ages 7 months to 7 years! But puns make me laugh -- even when I'm by myself! So try this out and see if your brain is as tired as mine, or if you can guess the punchline before reading the answers, listed at the end.
Good luck.
22 Creative Puns for “Educated Minds” …Can YOU Figure Them Out?by www.SixWise.com
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was …
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it …
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her …
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of …
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little …
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be …
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for …
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in …
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a …
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a …
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are …
12. Atheism is a [Fill in the Blank] organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I’ll …
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it [Fill in the Blank] me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the …
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No [Fill in the Blank] yet."
17. A chicken crossing the road is [Fill in the Blank] in motion.
18. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was …
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a [Fill in the Blank] veteran.
20. A backward poet writes …
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's ….
22. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe …
Now Scroll Down to See the Answers …
ANSWERS:
1. Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. still.
4. math disruption.
5. behind in his work.
6. stationary.
7. littering.
8. Linoleum Blownapart.
9. tie.
10. banana.
11. looking into it.
12. non-prophet
13. go on a head.
14. hit
15. Grass”
16. change
17. poultry
18. a small medium at large.
19. seasoned
20. inverse
21. your count that votes.
22. sects.
DID YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD???
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