Jackson: "Mom. I thought of ways you can tell if someone is alive. First; see if they're breathing. Second; kick their feet hard and see if it surprises them (I just tried that on Jordan and it worked). If none of those work, then they're dead."
Jordan, at dinner. With a straight face: "Mom, if I took ballet lessons, and I went to the zoo by the crocodiles, and there was a little infant on a teeter-totter, and a big kid sat on the other side and shot the baby waaay up and into the crocodiles -- I would save him. What would you do??"